Forgiven and Forgiving

The God of the universe visited me in my kitchen this morning.  Such an awesome realization to know our Lord of Lords, Creator of Heaven and Earth, cares enough about us to meet with us.  I’ve been praying Psalm 119: 33-37 for myself daily:

33 Teach me, O LORD, to follow your decrees;
then I will keep them to the end.

34 Give me understanding, and I will keep your law
and obey it with all my heart.

35 Direct me in the path of your commands,
for there I find delight.

36 Turn my heart toward your statutes
and not toward selfish gain.

37 Turn my eyes away from worthless things;
preserve my life according to your word.

I’ve been passionately and dillegently seeking Him.  In the midst of this I’ve been working through a crisis of sorts in a friendship.  I’ve tried to resolve it but the other person involved is not at a point where they are willing to come together.   The burden for me at times has been consuming, I’ve laid it at the altar and picked it back up several times.  Two weeks ago I spent an entire day seeking the Lord’s face on the matter.  He revealed to me I was beginning to grow a root of bitterness over the issue (using Hebrews 12:14-15).  I repented and pleaded with him to remove the bitterness, which He has done, though I have to seek Him daily to make sure no new weed is taking root!

Today He met with me and took it to another level.  As I was seeking Him once again, he took me to Colossians.  As I meditated on Colossians 3:12:

12Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

I prayed that God would clothe me with each of those characteristics; that I would exhibit those qualities before my children daily, pointing them to Him.  But then my eyes dropped down one verse:

13Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

The God of the Universe pierced my heart as He spoke to me in no uncertain terms through that old, familiar verse.  I was praying to not be bitter, but I was refusing to forgive my friend until he asked.  My Lord sacrificed His only son to provide my forgiveness before I even acknowledged my sin, let alone requested forgiveness; and I was unwilling to forgive simply because I have not been asked.

I wept as I repented, and I am humbled at this moment to think once again that He loves me enough to convict me.  How I cherish the sting of His truth as He unfolds it in my heart.  I kneel broken before Him and praising Him for those most precious kitchen encounters!

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